tabula rasa

i take that back. just got worse. FML. but whatever. moving along. i don't want to use this blog again cause certain people can access it- if you wanna know what's up with me, contact me! (text/call/facebook/in person?! haha we barely do that anymore)

i'm ready to focus on myself :D

better and better

it's getting better everyday... at least i think so.

beginning of lent

ash wednesday today- fasting is a challenge that is going well so far today. going to mass later with celine and friends. :D

day started off rocky- gotta talk about the issue at hand. i honestly need space and i thought i could be friends but i need time to appreciate my strengths and work on my weaknesses. then we can talk about being friends again.

giving up chocolate (ughhh how i love thee so), junk foods and swearing. yuuuppp. bring it on!

seriously need to get motivated to work more(better), write more, clean more, exercise more, take pictures more, go out more. more more more. am i being selfish? i'm not sure. i feel like i haven't been selfish for the last 3 years. time to do some stuff for me.

couple of people i've been trying to contact are ignoring me.... did i do something wrong? or is it just being overlooked? not sure... but i don't know if i want to continue trying... hmmm.

mom's birthday this weekend. and lolo's anniversary as well. it'll be nice to see the families again.

hello hello

still sick... bleh.

waxing party today... hahaha. we'll see how that goes.

still haven't gotten to meet up with my writer's workshop people- things keep coming up :/

i honestly need to get more motivation for doing housework. i haven't cooked in a long time and my laundry is just, well, there. writing is something i haven't gotten to do still. but i've been watching a lot of shows...

hanging out with troy on saturday and sancia in the evening. sunday with celine and kristine and wendy :D

moving right along

first week at the gym was great :D i'm happy i have erin as my workout buddy. christine joins us when it works with her schedule. here's what it looks like so far:

wed- heated yoga for one hour
[edit] what's funny about this is that erin and i thought we didn't get much of a workout from this and were thinking of working out more/doing something different but then we woke up the next morning and my shoulders/back/obliques were quite sore...[/edit]

thurs- total body conditioning for 45 minutes

fri- everything else we miss/is not sore by then. last week we worked on arms and abs


i'm feeling better about myself- waking up easier and having more energy throughout the day. but damn. nights are so hard- i can barely stay up past midnight now. ughhhh

i haven't been home in 2 weeks- feels weird. i miss my family

hello

the sun is peeking out from time to time- yet the temperature has not caught up with it yet. sheesh. get on it.

feeling good today :) UFC meeting and then laundry and catch up with shows. i have too many that i watch:

-one tree hill
-castle
-heroes
-grey's anatomy
-the office

and those are just the ones that are up and running right now...

-glee
-true blood
-so you think you can dance

ahhh yeah.

joined twitter- can't believe i jumped on that bandwagon. but i like reading other people's tweets. joined the gym as well- that's real fun so far. i have several gym buddies that can keep me motivated. tried out crossfit for the first time as well. on my way to a hot summer body!

what's your secret?

postsecret is coming to SU today :D

i have up days and down days... today is definitely a down day...

being strong is really hard <3 but i love my family and friends

btown for the weekend!

shit happens

sometimes it happens at the most inconvenient times and out of nowhere-

but you deal with it and move on.

time to start fresh

and more true to my real self

re-cap

Christmas was great :D midnight mass, opening presents, xmas day mass, alba residence, tionquiao residence where i got my gift stolen 3 times... jerks :P, shopping with the family. i love the holidays.

tonight is family dinner with ate rizza then off to hang out with kris' family at a tionquiao residence. for once i can actually be in the same room as kris and kiss him at midnight. hahaha. anyway, looking forward to seeing everyone again, the food, and the fireworks.

Re-cap of the year: lots accomplished- got my bachelor's degree! had a very successful barrio fiesta and my last quarter in college was my best overall- both in grades and in content/professors yet challenging. celebrated my 22nd birthday and started a new job at harborview but in the same department. attended the torrella family reunion in vegas and most recently started to work out! yay for hot yoga.

3 very important people in my life passed away this year: Lolo (Generoso), Lola (Felicidad) (both Kris' grandparents), and my own Grandpa (Levi). I loved all of them dearly, Lolo and Lola being my grandparents in person and Grandpa being there for me since I was born. I was their first grandchild (even though my Mom was the 6th born out of 7 kids... her response to that? "they just took too long") and last saw him at his 50th wedding anniversary with Grandma back in 2003. It was so hard to see Kris' mom and family go through this twice in a year, with me sort of "half" their family but not. But it was even harder to see my own Mom break down. It was different this time... with Grandma it was sudden and she didn't have much worry. But with Grandpa it was sufferring. And she had to leave before my Dad's 50th birthday and amidst the xmas planning. Extremely hard to hear her talk about Grandpa and how much he hurt while she couldnt' do anything but sit by him in the Philippines. But it was somehow perfect, if that could be the right word to describe it all, with the timing of Grandpa's death. So many little signs that added up perfectly later. And eveyone made it back just in time for Christmas with their own families.

Thank you so much for being there for me and eveyone else that loved you. <3

This year was pretty good- I hope next year I figure out more of what I'm doing with my life. Weird that you're in school for the majority of your childhood then once it stops you really don't know what to do. Ready to tackle new things and figure things out.

New year's resolutions? Hmm... I'll think about it

almost time!

christmas is here soon :D i'm excited. it's midnight mass this year- i feel bad for the little kids who are supposed to sing at 11:30 pm. how are they supposed to stay up?!

watched princess and the frog with spleen and courtney: so cute. "you minced!" hehehehe. then later i watched avatar with carlo, gen, cjay, and charisse- with the respective significant others. it's nice to see them when i go home. i never get to hang out in seattle. ugh. so tired from work. avatar was good- so beautiful. definitely worth your money. supposed to watch it in 3D last night with kris, lofton, and sancia but it was sold out already! sheesh. now we'll just go with the roomies hopefully when we figure out when we're all free.

snowboarding next weekend! yay- i hope i do alot better.

i want to make this blog look better but i don't know how?! and i see that peej and gen can post links and such but i'm too p'tarded to figure that one out... ugh. someone want to educate me how i do that?

k thanks.

hot yoga again this week. gotta find another studio to use their new student special. but i do like this studio since it's close to the house. i'm going to have to skip out on wednesday's practice since i still have so much to do before xmas!

it's almost here!

i really need to learn how to use this thing and make it all pretty/cool lookin.. sheesh.

christmas is almost here :D i'm excited. i lvoe family gatherings. i also haven't hung out with kris' family in a long time- i miss them all.

still have a little bit of shopping to do. crap.

mom comes back from the PI tomorrow- I'm helping pick up her and auntie gundy and auntie bing bing. i've missed her- and i know my Dad really has too. he's so cute- always talking and talking to celine since carlo has taken the opportunity to hang out with savannah more. celine is done with her first quarter in college- how time flies. she's doing 100% better than i did, that's for sure. now she's into playing all the games that i play online :D carlo turns 17 this sunday! wtf?! yeah... didn't think that would happen this fast. he's a good guy though. daddy's half a century old too! hahah.

started hot yoga last week- love it. 1 hour and a half in 110 degrees, 50% humidity. your heart's pounding and you're trying not to get sweat in your eyes. hahaha. my favorite part is the after feeling- it's what people get addicted to. favorite pose? tree and half tortoise. yay.

went snowboarding with the boys on sunday. besides being sick in the morning it was so much fun. they were really patient with me, especially in the beginning when i got frustrated but they were very encouraging as i got into the swing of things. i'm learning fast and i can't wait to get my own board!

i want to go to either grad school or start on my sign language but man, i don't have money. i start paying my loans next month. who in their right mind thinks is ok to pay almost $9,000 in interest alone?! yeah. seriously.

lots of things i'd like for christmas- but really only expecting family fun. i barely told anyone what i'd like. haha. xbox 360? k thanks.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

snowboarding!

for real

time for a new start- i'm gonna need your help on this one

not good

it's just not good right now. in a lot of different ways

:(

i don't know

i don't know what i need right now...

some questions running through my mind right now-

"why am i doing this?"
"what do i need to do now?"
"is this working out thing going to work?"
"why can't i motivate myself like i used to?"


ugh

and then...

I start full time next week :D I'm really stressed with work though. Not fun at all... too many voicemails and not enough time in a day to call everyone back as well as take care of all the referrals. But at least we have the new referral coordinator for trauma training now... soon and I can't wait.

Kris found a house!! They're moving in end of the month. It'll be him and 3 others in the u-district.

Tomorrow is the snowboard convention hehe. Time to get my stuff!

I'm going to start writing again, especially since I stopped going to my writer's workshop. I just can't promise to give 100% to them and I don't think it's fair. I promised I'd work on something else to show them, though.

Starting to play Modern Warfare 2. And now I want an xbox...

<3

I'm happy with where I am right now :D

- new job
- great family and friends
- amazing boyfriend
- working on new hobbies and old friends


Almost time for the holidays!!

better

better week this week, for sure.

things are falling into place and everyone's calming down. celine moved into SU and she's perfectly happy, and very excited. but she's not in the least bothered that i've been there like every single day- haha she keeps asking for me to come visit after work. today she's sick though, along with my brother at my parent's house. i'm done with my sickness, just a slight cough and headache. going to get my flu shot today- hopefully that only makes me a little tired. i feel bad for celine though cause it's her first day of classes and she can't even go. she was pretty upset about it.

life is moving right along- kris and i understand each other more now. we've figured out a way better way to communicate and support each other without attacking each other with words. haha. just helping him keep focused while he gets settled in seattle.

i miss people and i've been thinking alot. taking it one day at a time and not thinking so much about the damn future. haha. there's only so much you can plan for...

siiiicccck

i'm sick >.<

got a nerf gun :D

going to visit seastar at college ^_^

worried about my job and life, for that matter :/

dead and gone

3 years, 1 month, 8 days

you've changed, i've changed

this isn't going to work right now and we both know it

it's a weird feeling when it's mutual

thanks for everything, good luck with everything, and i hope we can re-connect someday


2 delta.08/07/06